Things People Get Wrong about INTJs

Once upon a time I was miserable.  I could not, for the life of me, fit in with other women.  I would completely exhaust myself trying to connect.  I had given up and tried again over and over and over again.  I tried that ridiculous “Be Yourself” thing which is completely idiotic and wise at the same time.  I tried putting everybody else before me.  I tried all kinds of things that were totally out of my comfort zone as an introvert. Then one day I stumbled across that stupid MBTI thing.

The heavens opened and the sun shone forth and the angels sang.  And I mean, the angels were pretty and the music was on key and the sunlight was at just the right angle.  (I have perfectionist issues, but that’s another post.)  Everything made sense, and I was able to both accept myself and realize why I wasn’t connecting with other people.  And though I absolutely cannot stand MBTI or any other of those thingamajiggies that tell you what box to stand in, I was grateful that it opened my eyes and brought peace to my life.

I was INTJ.  The funniest thing was that I had jokingly called myself a mastermind long before I knew about it.  Ha!  (And yes, I’m aware that I can rock the INFJ vibe.  And I get the INFP vibe.  I understand those peoples.  Sometimes, when I squint, I can see how a person could be an ENTJ.  It’s not my thing, though I can pull it off when need be.  But  I don’t get the S people.  Like, what the heck is that?) 

Anyway, I have noticed some funny things about how others perceive this group.  Like any of the categories, stereotypes tend to drown out the real message.  Here’s my list of things people get wrong about INTJs.  (This is totally on a personal level.  Obviously.)

  1.  We are constantly manipulating situations/people/things.  Okay, I get it.  They call us the Masterminds for a reason.  But the truth is that we probably don’t care about what you think we care about.  Whatever we do care about, we do it intensely, and it often has to go through layers of red tape to get to the top of the pile.  So let’s be real.  Personally,  I have 5 things I am utterly passionate about.  You are not one of them.  Sorry, not sorry.
  2.  We are not capable of love/compassion/feelings/whatever.  Bull honky.  We feel everything on an insane level.  It’s deep.  It’s wide.  It’s cosmic.  We just don’t show it on the outside.  When it does leak, my apologies if you cannot handle it.  Buck up, buddy.
  3.  We don’t want people in our lives.  Okay, listen.  If you want to be a part of my life, let me know.  Do not do it passively aggressively.  Do not hint.  Do not wait by the phone.  Come over.  To my house.  Be with me.  Be with me when I’m boring.  Be with me when I’m crazy.  Be there.  Talk to me.  Tell me directly what you are thinking, even if you think/know that I’ll disagree.  If you are loyal, I can deal with the other crap.  But you have to be dying on the battlefield with my hand in yours kind of loyal.  So, um, yes, we do want people.  Intensely.  The weak need not apply.
  4. We are skinny, well groomed, and shiny.  Well, my wide ass sweat pants and dirty feet disagree.  But whatever.
  5. We sit around contemplating how smart/amazing/better than everybody else we are.  Again, I have five things I care about.  That is not on my list.  That’s not even at the top of the slush pile.  Oh, it’s in there somewhere.  I’m human, after all.  But seriously, I keep that in the bottom of the wastebasket with the rest of the stuff I don’t have time to think about and I know better than to dwell on.

There’s probably more, but I’m bored and ready to move on.  Anybody want to discuss POVs?  I’m trying to decide on which one to write in for my new, stand alone book.  I’m having this awesome inner debate about it, and whether or not I should keep this book a mystery.  And sorry, not sorry, for the writing/author/book plug.  Writing IS on the list of 5 things I care about.

Live Bravely,
Love Strongly,
Mastermind Intentionally
-AEM

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