Fat Girl on the Holidays

Oh, the holidays.  The lights, the decorations, the music, the cards, the presents, the food.  It’s a beautiful picture, right?  Yes, it is!  I enjoy the holidays.  Making traditions with my husband and children.  Watching movies while we all snuggling.  Sneaking around with the buying and hiding and wrapping of presents.  Sitting back on the couch watching my kids play with toys all morning long.

But truthfully, there are things about the holidays I do not like, and a lot of them have to do with weight.   I don’t stress over food intake over the holidays, and weight gain has never been a problem.  But as a fat girl, I am aware that sometimes other people are stressing over my intake of food.

You ever go on a diet?  You ever been silly enough to tell people?  The first thing, I have found, that happens when you announce a diet, is that everybody and their dog give you that look when you eat something that’s not on your diet.

“And how many points is that?”  They ask with a smile and a nod.

“How ever many I tell it to be.”  I respond in my head.

The same thing that happens when you start a diet happens around the holidays even if you aren’t on a diet.  Suddenly, people get concerned over your eatings habits, because, you know, you might turn into the hideous marshmallow guy in the original Ghostbusters movie because you ate half a pumpkin pie.  And yes, I have eaten half a pumpkin pie.  And yes, I like my cool whip with a bit of pumpkin pie.  And yes, I make an entire pumpkin pie even though I might be the only one who partakes.  And if you have a problem with my pumpkin pie eating, you may bite me.  Just kidding.  That’s my husband’s job.

Another thing that happens on the holidays is that people automatically think that that’s how I eat all year round.  This is, again, none of their business for one, and not true, for two.  I can sit next to another person and eat less, and still have to watch my weight more.  Because that’s life.

There used to be this tension I carried around during the holidays.  I would under eat, just to please other people.  And I would smile and nod when they tried to give me helpful hints about fitness and eating.  I’ve come to realize that most people aren’t trying to be mean.  People like to share their opinions to connect, and people live in their own boxes of reality sometimes made by limited experiences.

Over the years, I have stopped giving giving a rip what other people thought of my eating during the holidays, or even caring what size they think I should be.  I don’t care if they don’t approve of my candy and cookie eating any more than I care what they think of my waist size.  I don’t care if they see me eating a piece of fudge, and I certainly will not pay attention to what they think of my buttery turkey.  The turkey and I are in a committed relationship, and you will not split us up.

This New Year, I have no weight loss wish or resolution. I’m going to keep exercising, and I’m still going to enjoy a chocolate chip cookie or few. And I’m going to enjoy a second helping of black eyed peas.  Because I love them, and they love me.  The holidays are meant to be lovely for all people, even curvy people.  So enjoy your food, and let other people enjoy their food.

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Peace on earth, my friends, starts around the table.
-Aems

 

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