So here’s this week’s topic: We’ve all experienced loss, what is a loss that has really struck you? Compare losing someone you knew with someone you didn’t, and your thoughts on how it affected you.
Loss is hard. I have to admit that I’m not really in a place right now that I can talk as openly as I would like about loss. But I’m going to try a little.
I remember losing was my great grandmother when I was 16ish. I remember that she didn’t know who I was at the end. I remember that I wore jeans and high heels at that time in my life. I remember hearing stories about her, and I remember the few visits I had with her.
I remember that I lost three more relatives when I was in the last trimester of college. They all died, one month after the other. My grandfather died of brain cancer. I remember that for the first time in my life I saw him with clean hands, and that he really wanted to go outside and do things, and everybody had to convince him not to. I remember having to work my student teaching around the funerals. I remember taking off time for my grandfather’s funeral, and getting in trouble for it. I still don’t regret getting that talking to, or the consequence of not getting a job in that school district. I graduated college a month or so afterwards.
I remember my grandmother dying the week before I got married. I remember having to juggle a job interview in another state with a wedding that I was pulling off all on my own, as well as managing grief. I remember then losing my grandfather between having my first and second child.
I remember that time when I was writing my second book that I lost my great aunt, and then my uncle, and then my grandmother had a stroke. And I didn’t tell people what I was going through during that time for various reasons.
I remember the babies I lost.
There’s the loss checklist, which really isn’t what I was supposed to do. Maybe, sometime in the future, I’ll be braver. For now that’s all I’ve got. And now I’m going to be creepy and watch my children sleep, and make out with my husband.
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Live Bravely (whoops, I guess not today)